Appleton's Adoption Journey

Home With Baby

2010-05-01T19:06:00.001-07:00

To end this blog, I just wanted to let everyone know that we are home with our baby girl.

Leaving April 2, 2010

2010-03-25T18:41:00.000-07:00

Well, we leave next Friday for China to get our sweet baby girl! We received updated pictures and we know she got her care package we sent because in one of the pictures she is holding the stuffed rabbit we sent her and just smiling!
I will be documenting our trip on the babyjellybeans website like I've been doing. It is password protected and we feel better about putting our thoughts, feelings, etc. on there instead of here. In fact, I think this might be the end of this blog. Once we get our baby, we won't have time to blog much.....I'd much rather play with her and just be "Mommy." We will update the other site from time to time and then get the free CD and order a book for her to have showing her the journey to us all becoming a family. Thank you to all of the sweet online friends who have cheered us on during this long process. Our hearts are so full of love, excitement, nervousness, etc. as we will shortly become parents to a little girl! YIPPEE!

Waiting For Travel Approval/The Finished 100 Wishes Quilt!

2010-02-26T19:56:00.000-08:00

Hello everyone! We got our Visas yesterday for China and today we got our renewed fingerprints from January. Things are falling right into place as we prepare to go get our sweet baby. Thanks to everyone for their prayers and kind words of congratulations and sweet prayers! We're not posting as much on this website because we have our own password protected website for when we travel to China. After the negative comments on referral day, we just decided to protect our baby and ourselves a little more. We've printed the HUGE volume of entries that we made on this website so that our child will have a record of the time we waited and prayed for her....and YES, the times we cried out in frustration as our hearts longed for her. She WILL know that she was wanted and loved for many many years before she was matched to us.
Anyhow, life is good, work is busy, preparations for travel to China continue as we await our travel approval and Consulate appointment. Oh, I picked up baby's 100 Wishes Quilt today! It is HUGE!!!!! And so very very beautiful!

Where We Are Going Soon

2010-02-12T14:16:00.000-08:00

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Don't Leave Comments On MY Blog If You're Going To Be A Big Ol Negative Nellie!

2010-02-02T14:52:00.001-08:00

I have gotten a couple of comments from people who are too chicken to leave their names saying that they are glad I finally got my referral so I will quit complaining and that I have been horrible during this whole waiting for 4 LONG years. OH POO POO on you Negative Nellie! And YES, I know who you are because our site is encrypted and traces people who log in on it but you know what? I have chosen to take the high ground because that's the kind of person I am. Yes, I complained during the wait and HATED every minute of it because my heart has been longing for this sweet baby. Some people apparently didn't understand that and I'm sorry that they had NO empathy for how I felt and how sad the wait made me. So......I'm sitting here laughing at your silly little immature comments because it truly confirms the kind of person that I knew you were and I find amusing that you now have your baby and continue to lash out at me. This is the most joyful moment of our lives and there is NO WAY I'm going to let you bring me down! Everyone who truly knows me, knows that I am a good Christian woman who is going to love this baby so much and those are the people that count! So, NO your comments did not hurt me....they hurt you and I am going to be the bigger person and not tell the everyone who you are, BUT if you continue to do this, I WILL report it to our yahoo group and let the cat out of the bag......so yes, I forgive you Negative Nellie, now get over yourself!

WE HAVE A MATCH!!!!!!!!

2010-02-01T22:46:00.001-08:00

We got "THE CALL" tonight a little after 10:30 pm. We have been matched with a beautiful little baby from Jiangxi Province. Her birthday is June 17, 2009 so she is just a little over 7 months old. Her Chinese name is Xin Ren Du (Du is the last name and all the babies are named that because they are from Duchang County SWI). That's all we know except we are IN LOVE......head over heels in love! We are now going to be posting information on our babyjellybeans site for privacy issues but if you are a good friend and want to follow our journey there, just email me at mommychinaadopt@yahoo.com and I will give you the log-in information. We have a little fuzzy picture of her posted on that website and you can see the cutest little face! Just wanted to let everyone know our joy!!!!! Now the wait begins until we travel to get our little peanut!

STILL WAITING at 9:45 PM!!!!!!!!!!

2010-02-01T18:41:00.000-08:00

Well we went out to eat because we hadn't heard from our agency by 6:00 and we were STARVING. Came home and there was a message from our social worker, Carol, who said that Sabrina (out in California) had JUST gotten the referral package from the DHL truck and was busily translating it into English. She is going to then fax it to Carol who will call us TONIGHT and tell us about the baby! WOOHOO!!!!! She just called back about 10 minutes ago and said she is still working on it and it should be within the hour that she calls. She just wanted to make sure that it was ok to call us so late......ARE YOU KIDDING????????? OH MY GOSH! I would stay up all freaking night to get this news! And honestly, HOW CAN I SLEEP NOW??????? So, we have the video camera ready to tape THE CALL and we're still bouncing off the walls here! COME ON STORK!!!!!!!!

5:25 PM And No Referral Yet!

2010-02-01T14:19:00.000-08:00

Well I have been GLUED to the computer and the phone all day long! I am so glad that we did not have school today so I could just be "in the zone" about the adoption news. This is what we know right now....
1. People in the U.S. are getting referrals. There have been people in Texas and Colorado that I've seen so far.
2. The CCAA DID match through April 5th so we are IN this batch.
3. Our China Coordinator called our China coordinator in California who said she was expecting a package from China today at noon (which would be 3 PM OUR time here on the east coast.) Now when they do get the referral, they have to translate it into English and so Sabrina (the one in California) will have to do that and then call Carol (the one in VA) who PROMISED me that she will call me as soon as she knows something. Of course we DID ask her not to call until the evening so that Doug would be home too and we could videotape it all while each of us is on a different phone.
4. So........maybe they have translated it and Carol is just waiting for Doug to be home too.
5. I have gotten emails, Facebook letters, etc. from soooooooooooooo many people that it just blows my mind. There are so many people who have been praying for us and are now waiting to here our good news.
6. I have cried so much that I've used 1/2 a box of Kleenex just TODAY!
7. It is possible to get so excited and worked up that you can't remember how to work a video camera, or what your log-in-date is, and give yourself a HUGE headache!
Anyhow....that's where we stand right now. No referral yet, but hopeful that it will happen soon! KEEP PRAYING!

APRIL 5th Is IN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2010-02-01T05:58:00.000-08:00

Oh my GOSH! I woke up this morning after a restless night of very little sleep to read the following news on the Rumor Queen:
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

R5

We’ve got seven agencies confirming the cut off date as April 5th. I believe that calls for an R5.

Congrats to those families included in this batch!!!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
CAN YOU BELIEVE IT??????????????????????????????????????????????????? WE ARE FINALLY IN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH MY GOSH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!BREATHE SUSAN BREATHE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now.........WHEN WILL GET OUR REFERRAL????????????????? OH MY GOSH WE'RE GOING TO SEE OUR BABY'S FACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FLY STORK FLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GET THOSE WINGS FLAPPING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Snow Is Coming?????????

2010-01-28T17:09:00.000-08:00

I've been so caught up in thinking ONLY about the adoption that I haven't paid much attention to the fact that we have a major snow storm headed our way tomorrow and Saturday........
10-18 inches here in DANVILLE! WOW!

Fingerprints Renewed Today!

2010-01-28T12:59:00.000-08:00

Well hubs and I drove down to Raleigh, NC to renew our fingerprints for the 4th time today. It was a BEAUTIFUL day for a drive.....so sunny and slightly cool.....just great weather for a drive! The process was quick and now we are ok for fingerprints for the next 15 months! Hopefully THIS is the last time we have to do this......but we've said that before too, right? Seriously I think THIS will be the last time.
No news on referrals but we did hear last night online that one agency is saying that CCAA is matching and last month when they did that on Dec. 23rd, referrals were in the U.S. by Dec. 27th..........so..........we really hope that we will be in this batch this time! Saying prayers and hoping beyond hope that is finally going to be OUR TURN!

Waterworks At The Walmart!

2010-01-23T19:22:00.000-08:00

Well, this morning I got up and saw where one lady online had posted that her agency said they are expecting referrals next week! Oh I hope we are in that bunch this time! It just blows my mind that we might actually see our baby's face by this time next week! How UNREAL is that????????????? WOW! Anyway, after I read that, I had to run over to Walmart for a few things and got the bright idea to go browsing in the baby department. I was looking at all the little clothes and blankets and toys and all of a sudden I just BURST INTO TEARS! It was NOT what I had planned to do in the middle of the Walmart baby section on a busy Saturday morning. Oh my gosh, I was so embarrassed and quickly went to the far corner of the section where I tried to call Doug on the cell phone to let him know his wife was having an emotional moment. I got his voice mail and was sniffling and trying to be really quiet and then I just busted out laughing! It was so darn funny! I am going to be a complete basketcase by the time we get the referral and then FINALLY get to that point where they hand us this baby! If I can't even take looking at baby supplies, what am I going to be like when I have the REAL BABY?????????? hahahahahahahahahaha I'm choosing to chalk it all up to the excitement of this thing really and finally happening for us! IT'S REALLY OUR TURN!!!!!!!!!!! AFTER 4 LONG FREAKING YEARS! hahahahahahahahahahahaha Gosh, that's enough to drive someone crazy.....crazy enough to bawl their eyes out in the Walmart! hahahahahahaha

Little Bits of Excitement......

2010-01-20T19:57:00.000-08:00

I was talking to a friend of mine at school today and she was asking about the adoption........I was telling her that we could get our referral THIS month and I just had a picture in my head of someone in China holding our dossier and matching us with our baby......looking at our pictures and deciding which baby is to be ours.....
All of a sudden I got a shiver down my spine and it just felt so real and so exciting!!! I get those little spurts of excitement every now and then and I check Rumor Queen's website all the time just hoping for some rumors that they are sending referrals soon, but I will admit that most of the time I don't feel excited too much yet. It's like "the calm before the storm!" hahahahahahahahaha I know that once we get the referral we will have sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much to do and get and organize and it will be CRAZY so I guess I'm just enjoying my last little bit of calm before everything goes NUTS! hahahahahahahaha
But I have to think of this little Red Thread Poem that is part of the Chinese Adoption Community. Our baby's life is about to become a part of our life and the lives of our friends and family. But I know that she is meant to be a part of us and we are meant to be a part of her. Heavenly Father has a very special child to send to us and it will be our job to raise her and teach her and help her to become the person she is supposed to be in life. WOW, that can be overwhelming when you think about it..........this little life is going to be OUR responsibility.......a responsibility that Heavenly Father is entrusting to US!

January Is Dragging By.........

2010-01-19T17:05:00.000-08:00

Can we say SLLLLLLOOOOOOWWWWWWW? Wow, I've never seen a month move by so slow until now. Here we are HOPING that our log in date will be included in the referral batch this time and we can't believe how LONG this month seems to be! Usually the months move by at a pretty steady pace, but I guess since we are watching the days, and on pins and needles just waiting for ANY rumors, it is dddddrrrrraaaagggggiiiiiinnnnnnnggggg by.........oh well...nothing to do but stay busy and QUIT looking for rumors online! hahahahhahahaha

Baby Registries and Crib Sheets!

2010-01-10T19:50:00.000-08:00

Well, today was fun. Doug and I did the baby registries at Target and Toys R Us. It was so neat thinking about our baby and picking out little things that we still need for her. Some friends and family members had asked us about our registries so we figured that we'd get those done today. We don't know what size the baby will be so we couldn't add clothes or anything like that. Everyone will have to wait to find out how big she is when we find out. But it was neat to go in there together and look at all of that baby stuff and talk about OUR baby coming soon! We also bought a couple of little crib sheets that were so darn cute! They have flowery little patterns and are just precious! It's fun thinking about all of this and making some plans now!
We are also waiting on Immigration to send us a date to redo our fingerprints....they are dragging their heels and I'm hoping they get their act together so this won't be something that holds up the process any further.....that would be horrible if our OWN government threw a wrench into everything!

Great Organization!

2010-01-01T21:05:00.000-08:00

Check out their website to see how YOU can help orphans who need our help!
www.lovewithoutboundaries.com

HAPPY NEW YEAR! Welcome 2010!!!!!!!

2010-01-01T20:50:00.001-08:00

Well, another year started today! SURELY this WILL be the year we get our baby! Geez, I've said that how many years???????? 2006, 2007, 2008, 2009 and now 2010! Hope springs eternal, right? Anyhow, here's to a new year and new blessings to receive! We send our friends and family the following wishes for this new year:
May you be happy, healthy, surrounded by those who love you the most, prosper in whatever you do, and always meet the challenges in life knowing how special you are and that others love you!

This Year's Ornament.......

2009-12-28T12:02:00.000-08:00

Every year we pick out a Hallmark Ornament to add to our tree. We rotate turns and this was Doug's year to pick out the ornament. He picked this airplane out.....how appropriate, don't ya' think?????

Pooh Outfit Picked Out By Daddy

2009-12-28T11:58:00.000-08:00

This was one of my Christmas presents from Doug because he knows how much I love little clothes with Pooh on them. I didn't even point this one out to him......GREAT JOB Daddy-To-Be! He even remembered to get a 12 months size as we hope she will be younger than 12 months. He looked in her closet a few nights ago and pointed out to me that our baby needs more PANTS because I've bought so many little cute dresses.....This one that he bought me has PANTS with it! I love when Daddies pick out outfits for babies! Love you honey!

Hardworking Cats.........NOT! hahahahaha

2009-12-28T11:55:00.000-08:00

I just walked into our livingroom and found 2 of our cats curled up together in the new little bed thinggie we got them for Christmas.........AWWWWWWWWWWW! Love those furrbabies even if they are lazy little pampered gremlins! Don't you wish you the life of a cat??????

New Luggage.........READY TO ROLL!

2009-12-28T11:23:00.000-08:00

Well, I finally felt like searching for camera so I could take some pictures. I wanted to get a pic of the new luggage Doug got me for Christmas. He couldn't BELIEVE that I wanted THIS pattern! hahahahahahahaha I've never been one that liked "plain" stuff.......plus I told him that we SHOULD be able to find this on the luggage carousel at the airports, right? hahahahahaha I LOVE IT! Can't wait to get that referral and be able to pack these and GO GET THAT BABY!!!!!!

Merry Christmas!

2009-12-25T19:24:00.000-08:00

Well, it has certainly been an INTERESTING Christmas! First of all it started off on our anniversary (December 23rd) when I had to spend half the day sitting in a doctor's office. The verdict? BRONCHITIS! Geez! 5 hours and 2 prescriptions later, I collapsed in bed EXHAUSTED! I didn't feel like doing the cleaning and cooking that I needed to start for the Christmas Eve festivities that was to be at OUR HOUSE the next day! I just couldn't do it. Then, the next day came and I was ready to just pull the covers over my head and sleep. But I KNEW my family would be coming later in the afternoon, so I dragged myself out of bed and started cleaning, cooking, wrapping the last few gifts, etc. My hubs got home from work early and joined in, then my sister, Stacey came! I LOVE when she visits! One of my presents came in the mail at hub's office so he gave me that: Guitar Hero for the Wii we bought together for our anniversary present! YIPPEE!!!!!
My mom was the next to arrive, and then my brother, his wife and three kids! We enjoyed a meal of chili, Zuppa Tuscana soup, yeast rolls, little smokies, and chocolate pie for dessert! We tore into presents and had a ball just chilling out and talking and laughing! We really had a ball!
Before anyone arrived though, we looked online and discovered that there were rumors that the CCAA had matched dossiers through April 3rd! OH MY GOSH! That would be TWO batches done in December and only TWO days to go with one of those days (April 5th being OUR DAY!!!!!) Talk about a good present!
Anyhow, the day ended and I was sooooooooooooooooooooooooo happy to get in bed! We slept in til 9A.M. and then woke up to open presents! Hubs spoiled me rotten! He even got me the cute little luggage that I wanted for our trip to China. He calls it my "brady bunch luggage," because of the flowery pattern, but hey, it should be easy to locate on the luggage carousel at the airport, right???? hahahahaha I cried when he gave it to me because it just made it seem more real that we really be traveling soon to get baby! He also bought me this cute little Winnie The Pooh outfit that made me get all choked up! I got lots of other cool stuff and lots of goodies from Bath and Body Works! Hubs is so good to me!!!!! ANYHOW, it has been an interesting Christmas and I wish that I wasn't sick, but hey, I didn't like that spoil it and I hung in there as best I could. I'm excited that CCAA is closer to our date and I'm both nervous and excited that we will be parents SOON! Sometimes that nervousness is a little scary because I want to be the best mom ever! I worry that I won't be. I guess that is pretty normal for most moms, right? Especially NEW moms! hahahahahahaha
Well, Merry Christmas everyone! This will DEFINITELY be the last one without our baby (I HOPE! hahahahahaha)

Winter Wonderland! FINALLY!!!!!!!!!

2009-12-19T09:20:00.001-08:00

Well, after many years of wanting SNOW here in Danville, we FINALLY got a nice little amount (7-10 inches)yesterday and last night. I just had to go out and take a few pics to mark the occasion since it doesn't happen often! hahahahahaha Of course it IS more exciting when we get the white stuff during a work week and have snowdays out of school, but hey, "beggars can't be choosers," right? It is just so PEACEFUL outside this morning as the whole city is blanketed in snow. Doug and I haven't done ANY Christmas shopping and were hoping to get it done today, but that will have to wait a day or two. The forecast is calling for more on Christmas Eve! WooHoo!!!!

Our Family Newsletter In Online

2009-12-19T07:04:00.000-08:00

Every year I make an Appleton Family Newsletter to send out with our Christmas cards. It is so neat to look back and read the ones in the past and I keep them in a scrapbook for our family. This year, Doug has put the newsletter I made online. Here's the info:

Hello ..

Our family newsletter has been published and can be viewed from the following link http://www.vcan.us/Appleton

When prompted for a username enter, friends, and the password all in lowercase ( small letters ) is also friends .

Enjoy!!!

Another Christmas Tree Is Up!

2009-12-14T18:07:00.001-08:00

Well, it's a little late getting put up, but alas we have put our Christmas tree up FINALLY! hahahahahahahaha We've just been swamped with work, and Doug's final Calculus class, graduation, my graduate course in Word Study from UVA, etc. etc......
The time between Thanksgiving and now has been just a BLUR.....where have the days gone????? Tonight we pulled out everything and got it all set up and as I am typing this entry, I have all of the lights turned out and am enjoying the glow of our beautiful tree. We started a new tradition tonight as we said a prayer before adding the first ornament. We couldn't help but be thankful for the blessings that we have and enjoy as we look forward to adding a dear sweet little blessing to our family SOON! Decorating the tree this year was NOT a sad event like it was last year.....last year I cried buckets of tears with every ornament we added, but this year there's a calmness in my heart that our time is near. I can't WAIT til we hold her next year at this time and every year after that. So.......Merry Christmas.....and I hope Santa brings us a referral! That's all I really want!

Daddy Get's His Degree!

2009-12-12T16:25:00.000-08:00

Well, Doug graduated from Averett University this morning with a degree in Computer Information Systems! YIPPEE!!!!!!!!!!! Years ago when he started this program we knew for sure that we would have baby BEFORE Daddy got his degree, but alas, here we are still waiting for Baby. Oh well, we hope that will come to pass shortly too! At least now Daddy will have more time to play with Baby and change her dirty diapers now that he has no more homework! hahahahahahahahahaha
I am sure am proud of my hubby! Love you sweetie and I'm awfully proud of you too! You worked hard and deserve to celebrate this great success!!!
(Oh and don't worry about the frown on his face in the pic of us together.....the sun was in his eyes and he was trying to tell this little old lady how to take the picture.....hahahahahahahahaha......believe me...he was HAPPY!)

Sweet Sunday!

2009-12-06T19:55:00.001-08:00

Today has just been a restful and peaceful day which is great considering the stress of work and some issues that arose there last week. I won't go into details because I'm trying to get past it all and think positive, uplifting thoughts!
Anyhow this morning hubby and I went to church and just really felt the spirit strong in the meeting. We drove around some after church listening to Christmas music and just thinking about the baby that soon will be placed in our arms and in our lives forever! It was a very touching experience and I feel very close to our baby today. Warm feelings in my heart! Feeling a little of those "mommy" feelings that I've been missing for a long time. Feeling very blessed and thankful for all that I have and for a dear, kind husband who is also my best friend and for this little angel that Heavenly Father is going to entrust us to take care of, teach, and raise!

44 MONTHS and still counting! hahahahahaha

2009-12-05T17:12:00.000-08:00

Hopefully not too much longer. These milestones used to be exciting, then they were heartbreaking, and now they don't mean a thing to us......we just look forward to the times when the referrals come out and pray that we are in the next batch or the batch after that.

Red Bags and Tissue Paper..........CHECK!

2009-12-04T18:35:00.000-08:00

Well, we finally bought the 10 red gift bags and red tissue paper that we will use when we go to China. Apparently we have to give gifts to the China officials and nannies and orphanage directors, etc. It is a tradition to give gifts in red bags in China and we've put it all off for the almost 4 years that we have been waiting. With the fact that they are only "four" days away from our LID of April 5th, we decided to do some little preparations like this. We don't want to jinx ourselves, but since red bags and tissue paper are pretty abundant at Christmas time we thought it was a wise choice to get them. Now.......what do we put in them? I've heard all kinds of suggestions and have NO idea what to give these people. I have heard that many of the gifts just get shoved in closets because a lot of people tend to give perfumes, lotions, baseball caps, etc. and they don't really want that stuff anymore. Some agencies have told their clients that they prefer things like deodorants, toothpaste/toothbrushes, shampoos but that seems kind of "offensive" to me. I wouldn't like someone giving me stuff like that.......seems like it suggests, "you stink!" hahahahahahahahaha Some say give chocolates or candies....others say no. Some say give things from the area you are from, but what??? Whatever we give has to be pretty lightweight for traveling and not taking up too much space. I don't want to spend a lot if there's a chance it will just get tossed in a closet somewhere........I really don't know, but at least I have red bags and tissue paper!!!

GREAT NEWS TONIGHT!!!!!!!!

2009-12-01T20:09:00.001-08:00

Just got an email from our agency and apparently CCAA has posted on their online system that they have finished matching families through March 31, 2009!!!!! WOO HOO and THANK GOD!!!!!!!!!! They can now move on to the April folks and our dossier was logged in on April 5th, 2006. I am sitting her bawling my eyes out and shaking like a leaf! Could we be next??????? I think it might be February for us, but hey, that's ok......I can live with that! WHEW!!!!!!!!!! What wonderful news!!!!!!!!!

Done With Thanksgiving.....Now On To Another "Babyless" Christmas

2009-11-29T18:58:00.001-08:00

Well, we made it through Thanksgiving. There are some stupid rumors circulating that a couple of agencies are saying that CCAA has finished matching and should be sending referrals. WHATEVER! They didn't send them last month at all and we are still stuck on the March 28, 2006 date. No movement in over a month and here we are approaching Christmas. As mad as it makes me, then again I am just numb inside.......no feelings at all one way or the other on this issue. Of course I want our baby, but it's like my heart has shut down and won't even think about it. I did have one little moment in the Hallmark store Friday while out shopping with my sister. She had stopped to get her haircut at the salon and I went to the Hallmark store to look around. I saw the "Baby's First Christmas" ornaments and burst into tears! Yep, standing right there in the crowd of folks at the store......I had to sneak around to the empty aisle and try to gather my composure.......geez! Anyhow......that's where things stand and have stood for over a month. No news at all coming out of China except that the CCAA has a new director (which may slow things down as we wait for HIM to his act together and settled into his position.......GEEZ!). I'm just going on with life, burying myself in work, enjoying reading some books, taking a graduate class on Word Study through UVA which has me dreaming up all kinds of new projects for myself, playing my piano, singing.........

Ladybug Quilt

2009-11-19T06:52:00.000-08:00

Last Saturday Doug and I drove down to Halifax County, VA to go to the annual craft show. I love going to this thing every year and Doug always agrees to go with me (he's such a good sport! hahahahahaha). This year we were walking around looking at all of the handmade items and we got to this one booth and saw a handmade baby quilt with ladybugs! It is so pretty and is purple too! Oh I loved it, but I was going to pass it up, but my sweet hubby convinced me to get it because he knows how I am. If I hadn't gotten it, I would have gotten half way home and said, "I should have bought that quilt for the baby." So..........we are now the proud owners of yet another quilt for our baby Rebekah! hahahahahaha There's just something about quilts that I absolutely LOVE and this one is gorgeous! The lady that made it was just so excited about us adopting from China! She even threw in a Carebears bib and those little things that go on the newborn's hands to keep them from scratching themselves (I didn't have the heart to tell her that our baby would probably be too big for those). She even hugged me and I cried.....yep, right there in the middle of craft show! hahahahahahahahaha She teared up too! Oh well, Rebekah is going to have to get used to an overly emotional Mama! I hope she likes her ladybug quilt as much as we do and that it becomes one of her favorites! Oh, and you can see another bib that Daddy picked out for baby! I think our little girl will be spoiled rotten!

Happy Halloween (Hopefully The Last Without Baby!)

2009-10-31T16:35:00.000-07:00

How many Halloweens have I said that before, right? hahahahahahaha Well seeing as CCAA is only 8 days away from our LID, I am ASSUMING that by next Halloween we will have a little bundle of joy all decked out in a costume and enjoying trick-or-treating each and every year. Yes, we are one of those "RARE" families that sees NOTHING wrong with having fun on Halloween. It seems that today's society has more and more people who think Halloween is some sort of evil tradition that inspires kids to be evil.....GEEZ! Whatever happened to normal people who saw Halloween for it what was supposed to be....a day to dress up, go trick-or-treating, carve Jack-o-Lanterns, etc. I'm amazed that some people can turn it into something horrible and think that it brings out "evil." I guess that's what the "political correctness" has done to our society.......well, it's stupid and since this is my blog, I can say that! hahahahaha
Anyhow, my sister and I have this tradition where we send each other a goody box every year because we always had so much fun on Halloween! I got my package from her today with cute cat bumper stickers, a magnet that has a "spell book" on it,and a bag of my favorite Mounds candy!!!!! YUM YUM! I love the bumper sticker that says, "My cat is smarter than your honor student." HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA My sister loves her cats just like I love mine!
Doug and I carved our pumpkin today and sat it outside tonight. Oh it is so cute!!! I also got a cute picture of my handsome hubby in front of our house after he had carried the pumpkin out. I love him so much!!! I can't wait to see him as a Daddy!!!!!

Beautiful Baby Afghan From My Friend Mandi

2009-10-31T16:27:00.001-07:00

Today, I got a wonderful hand-made baby afghan from a dear friend, Mandi. We both share a love of crafts and this was such a sweet surprise! It is a plum color and VERY soft. I absolutely LOVE it and yes, it made me cry! I am so touched because I know how much work went into it and because I think that gifts you make for someone with your own two hands are just so full of love because they take time to create. Thanks Mandi, you're such a sweet friend! I can't wait to see our baby, Rebekah, enjoying it!!!!

Still Hanging In There!

2009-10-23T19:12:00.001-07:00

This week I have been off on Fall Break. I had the chance to go through some of the adoption stuff and also through the baby's room. Today I cleaned out the nursery closet and organized it. I also found a baby quilt that I started making and never finished as well as some fabric that I have for making a couple of taggy blankets (one to send over to the baby in a care package once we get the referral.) Anyhow....nothing to report. We had hoped to have her referral BEFORE Christmas, but I think it might be in January or February which means we will need to renew our fingerprints AGAIN since they expire in February. Oh well.....what can we do???? Nothing except hang in there. They are only 8 days away from our LID......come on China and get to us! Included are some pictures of Doug and I from last weekend when we went to a friend's wedding at Castle McCulloch in Jamestown, NC. It was a beautiful wedding, but a cold and drizzly Fall day.....thus my hair is flat! hahahaha

I Love This Quote

2009-10-14T18:44:00.000-07:00

I just found this quote on a website I was looking at tonight......I NEEDED this!

Women of God can never be like women of the world. The world has enough women who are tough; we need women who are tender. There are enough women who are coarse; we need women who are kind. There are enough women who are rude; we need women who are refined. We have enough women of fame and fortune; we need more women of faith. We have enough greed; we need more goodness. We have enough vanity; we need more virtue. We have enough popularity; we need more purity.”
-Margaret Nadauld

UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-10-12T11:11:00.000-07:00

Well, once AGAIN the stupid rumors were FALSE! The CCAA did NOT get through March 29th nor did they finish up the month of March! WHEN WILL I LEARN NOT TO LISTEN TO ANYTHING ON THE RUMOR QUEEN??????????????????? They only made it through March 28th. Yes, we moved up 3 more days, but my heart sure was hoping it would be more! The 29th is a huge batch according to poll results so I am thinking they will only do that ONE day next time. Oh well..........

HOW FAR DID CCAA GET THIS MONTH??????????

2009-10-09T15:41:00.000-07:00

Well, we are on pins and needles waiting to hear how far CCAA got this time with referrals. We have heard the rumors that they may have gotten finished through the March 29th and maybe even finished the whole month of March. THAT would be such a wonderful thing if they did! Then we could possibly get OUR referral next time! So.......we're saying those prayers and keeping fingers crossed.....come on CCAA!!!!!
It is so cool to think that CCAA will be picking up OUR DOSSIER and will be matching us with OUR baby! Oh my gosh, I get goosebumps and have tears in my eyes just thinking about it! We are soooooooooooooooooo close!!!!!!!!!

A Letter To Our Baby (On 3 and 1/2 Year LID-iversary)

2009-10-05T13:20:00.000-07:00

Dearest Rebekah,
As I sit here on this day and wonder how much longer it will be before we see your face in a referral and then how much longer until we HOLD you, my heart is so full of love for you. You will never understand how much I love you until you have a child of your own. This whole adoption journey has been one that has not been the easiest, but I KNOW in my heart that you are meant to be our little girl. I can feel your spirit pulling us to China. I know that you are longing for a mommy and Daddy to hold you and love you, just as we are longing for a baby girl to love us and give us toothless grins and sweet giggles. We need each other my darling and one day (hopefully soon) our innermost desires and heartfelt prayers will be answered. The day WILL come when we will walk into a room and have our names called. And as we step forward, we will see your sweet face and feel you placed in our arms FOREVER! Oh my gosh, I'm sure you will cry and be frightened at first, but we will hold you close and speak words of love in your ear. We will rock you and comfort you, and in time you will come to know the love of two parents and come to trust us to take care of you. Of course we will make mistakes and I hope you will be patient with us as we learn to be parents and we promise to be patient with you as you learn what it means to be part of our family........our little baby! I can't wait to bathe you and put lotion and powder on you to comfort you. I hope you like the smell of Johnson's Baby Lotion......sometimes I go in your room now and open the bottle and put a little on my hands, just to savor the smell and to know that one day YOU will smell like that! Yes, you have a very silly Mommy! I also look through the little clothes and outfits that hang in your closet and are in your drawers and I picture your little arms and legs being in those things. I look at the hairbows and ribbons and picture your beautiful hair adorned with those things. Oh my goodness......let's hope you like those frilly things (unlike your Aunt Stacey....hahahahahahahaha). I just had another thought.......what if we're in for a big surprise and our referral is for a boy?????????????? Oh my, we have a LOT of things to change in your room if that is the case, and instead of the letter being for Rebekah, it will have to be for Cameron MacClayne.....hahahahahaha That's always a possibility, but I just feel deep in my heart that YOU will be a little girl....OUR little girl that I have dreamed and prayed for ALL OF MY LIFE! That's right Rebekah, I have wanted to be a mother to a little girl for as long as I can remember. All those years of having baby dolls and dreaming of the one day when I would have a REAL baby in my arms have prepared me to be YOUR mommy. The tender feelings deep in a mother's heart are so special and so hard to put into words. I cannot describe them and every time I do, the words are so inadequate to even compare to what I am feeling when I think of you. How do you describe love?????? I don't think you truly can sweetie, but I promise to SHOW you love and I hope that you will love me back. I hope that I will be the kind of mommy that you will always be able to talk to and to share your thoughts and feelings with. I'm sure there will be times when I will have discipline you and I promise you now that I will always discipline with love in my heart. I want you to always know that I love you and want the best for you in life. I want you to grow up believing in yourself and enjoying the beauties of life. I want to explore and learn and become the best person you can be in life. And during all those year, I promise to always be there for you; cheering you along. I will be your biggest fan and will find joy in YOUR joy. I will share your pain and disappointments in life; for life is full of those too. But even in tough times, you can find reassurance in my love for you. I pray that you will grow up knowing that we all have a loving Heavenly Father who is never far from us. I hope you find comfort in prayer and that you will develop a strong testimony of the Gospel. I pray that you will try to make righteous choices in life and when you make mistakes, you will repent and learn from them. We all have to do that too. No one is perfect baby girl. Oh my goodness, I just love you so much already and you're not even in our arms yet. And while I'm talking about the love I will have for you, let me just mention your Daddy.........you are going to LOVE your Daddy. He is so loving and funny and just a great guy. He wants to be your Daddy so badly! We talk about you and what it will be like once we have you with us. His eyes just light up when he talks about being your Daddy. I hope you will know how much you are wanted by both of us! You are going to be so spoiled! hahahahahahaha Well, I guess I should close out this rather lengthy and emotional letter. Yes, I have cried as I typed this to you today, but that's ok, you'll learn that your mommy is a very very very emotional person.....get used to the tears! Take care my sweet little one......you are FOREVER in my heart; tucked in there so lovingly; protected until the joyous day when you will be tucked in my arms and loved and protected FOREVER. I pray that you are safe, and warm, and that someone is holding you when you cry, until we can do that ourselves. Sending you my love baby girl!
Love,
Mommy (and Daddy)

Our Last Visit To The Halifax County Fair Without Baby

2009-10-02T22:22:00.000-07:00

Tonight Doug and I went to the Halifax County, VA Fair. I grew up going to this fair EVERY year of my life and as we walked around we couldn't help but think that next year, we will be pushing a stroller with our little baby! YAY! I hope she likes it as much as her Mommy always has. We rode the Ferris Wheel (one of my all-time favorites) and the Tilt-A-Whirl (another favorite). We ran into my brother, Tony and his wife and kids. What fun! My little niece (1 year old)was able to pick up a duck and win a stuffed duck! We saw the country music performer, Chuck Wicks, in concert. It was a fun night!

Today Is My Birthday

2009-09-26T19:56:00.000-07:00

Will this be the last birthday that I celebrate without our baby? Good golly I hope so! I would seriously hope that next year she will be here with us. Of course with China you just NEVER know.....hahahahahahaha
It has been a rainy birthday, but tomorrow the sun is supposed to come out. I guess you have to experience the rainy days to really appreciate the sunny ones, right? Kind of the same thing with the adoption......you have to experience the horrible, torturous, never-ending pain of the wait so that when that day comes where we are handed our precious little one, we will TRULY appreciate it! I just REALLY hope we at least get our referral before Christmas....it would be great if we traveled before then, but I will be happy to at least know who our baby is and to have that little face in my head.........something to hold on to over the holidays....oh well...what will happen will happen and nothing that I say or want will change that. Anyway....happen birthday to me, right?

STILL Waiting To Hear How Far They Got This Month.....

2009-09-25T19:58:00.000-07:00

The rumors are still circulating around online in the adoption community that China has matched THROUGH (including) March 29th, 2006. This would be great news if we were now hearing from people WITH referrals.....what is taking them so long to release the referrals?????? Oh well.....nothing we can do but wait.
Tomorrow is my birthday.....I will be 42.....wow, I somehow thought I'd be a mom before now.......well I'm not, but hopefully it won't be much longer before I am. I was in Walmart yesterday just wasting some time and thought I'd make a visit to the baby section of the store. It was kind of comforting and reassuring to walk amongst the baby clothes, bottles, diapers, etc. and know that in a few more months I'll have a real reason to be over there in that section. I must admit though that I have NO idea what kind of bottles to buy when we get our baby.....I stood there looking at them and thinking, "Which one is the best????" I have no clue! And then I confused myself even more when I wondered over to look at the baby food.....geez, how do you know what to feed them at which time? I picked up a box of the rice cereal and thought, "What do I do with THIS??????" hahahahahahahahahahaha It sounds funny, but seriously, how do moms know WHAT to feed their babies and at what ages?????????? It confuses the heck out of me! My poor kid! Do moms just KNOW this stuff naturally or is there some great MOM GURU that they turn to?????? I'd love to hear your thoughts and "insider information" on this one! hahahahaha

Rumors Flying Around

2009-09-20T18:58:00.000-07:00

Well the rumors are flying around that CCAA got through March 29th and maybe even finished all of March. That would be a complete miracle and although it is exciting to think that maybe they got that far, I've learned in this horrible waiting game that you can't get your hopes up too much. So I will sit here and dream about them being true but until I OFFICIALLY see it, then I'm not going to pin too much on it happening.
We have been preparing some more around the house for the baby's arrival (eventually). We got new front-load washer and dryer set which arrived this past week. We've actually been DYING to wash laundry in the things because they are so cool! hahahahahahahahahahaha Our new sofa and ottoman should arrive on Saturday (my birthday) so it's pretty exciting getting the new stuff and doing some "nesting" as we anticipate our baby becoming a reality. I hope it will happen BEFORE Christmas!!!!!

Daddy-To-Be's Birthday Today 09/09/09

2009-09-09T20:17:00.000-07:00

Cool date to have a birthday! Yep, today was Doug's birthday and he got lots of goodies. His cake was decorated with two panda bears since this will HOPEFULLY be the last one before he officially becomes a Daddy to our little Rebekah! I hope he had a great time and enjoyed his gifts. He is going to make a wonderful Daddy for Rebekah and we BOTH look forward to share holidays and birthdays with our baby girl soon. Until then, we keep plugging along and hanging on to our hopes and dreams!

FURNITURE SHOPPING! WooHoo!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-09-07T13:44:00.000-07:00

Well, today was the best day! Doug and I were talking and made the decision to purchase some new furniture for our den downstairs......oh my gosh, we have been putting that off for YEARS! So we went looking at 3 different furniture stores and finally found EXACTLY what we wanted! At first we were just simply going to get a new sofa. But they had some good deals so we got a sofa and HUGE ottoman and then we went to another store and bought a rocker/recliner!!!! Woohoo! I had been wanting one before we got the baby for those nights when we have to rock her to sleep or when she's sick and won't sleep. Oh yeah......planning ahead! Oh it is sooooooooooo cozy! Our sofa is going to be a little longer than the one we have now and it is also really comfy! I LOVE the huge ottoman too! How exciting to be getting things done and getting new furniture. I think I am going to move the glider rocker that is in the den now, to the nursery and put the new cushions in it that I had made for the other rocker. I guess the other wooden rocker will also go in the den. It doesn't rock very well in the nursery because of the carpet (which I didn't think about beforehand! hahahahahaha) I also need to go through the nursery closet and take out all of my craft/scrapbooking supplies and put those away in the garage. I also need to take all of the 100 Wishes Fabric squares to the place that is going to make her quilt. LOTS of PLANS!!!!! Come on CCAA and match us with our baby!!!!!! NOW!!!!!!

LID-iversary #41.......Still Waiting........

2009-09-05T19:13:00.001-07:00

Well, what can I say at this point that I haven't said for the past 41 months????? There's no point griping about it.......that does no good......so let's move on......
Today Doug and I drove down to Greensboro and spent the day just browsing around down there at baby stores and then out to eat at Cracker Barrel. We bought a little denim jumper with pink flowers on it at the Osh Kosh store. Cute little things in there but I try not to buy too many clothes because we don't know what size our baby will be yet. When I do break down and buy little things I get them in 12 month or 18 months so she will hopefully be smaller and be able to grow into them one day. That little jumper was just too adorable to pass up and she can wear it with either a short sleeved or long-sleeved shirt.
Anyhow, then we went to Baby's R Us where I saw the little Pooh bear dressed up as Piglet. It was just too adorable to pass up. We also got 2 thermal receiving blankets because we have figured out that it will probably be Fall or Winter when we get her (THANK GOD it won't be the summertime!). Then we found a good sale on the onesies. They were on clearance and if you bought one pack, you got the other pack for only a dollar!!!!!! WOW! Couldn't pass that up, so I bought one pack in 12 months and the other pack in 18 months!
Overall, it has been a great day. Loved spending time with my hubby and the weather was BEAUTIFUL! We listened to music, talked, sang (well, I SANG) all the way down and back. Oh, we also stopped by this cake shop down in Greensboro and ate REALLY good cake. The place is called "Maxie-B's" and they have all these cakes and you pick the one you want to try and they cut a HUGE slice for you. I tried the Chocolate Sin cake and Doug got the strawberry cake with butter creme frosting....oh yea....FRESH strawberries in the layers.....yep, my fork traveled across the table a couple of times!!!! hahahahahahahaha

Making Some More Preparations.......

2009-08-27T15:41:00.000-07:00

Well today I contacted our Human Resources department at work to find out what all I need to do to prepare things as we get closer to referral time. I have NO idea how maternity leave works and how you go about getting ready for a long-term substitute teacher, so these are some preliminary inquiries about all of that. I want to make sure that I get a sub who will not just keep the kids busy, but will TEACH the material that needs to be covered while I am absent. They don't need a babysitter....they need a teacher those weeks. Anyhow, a few people are supposed to contact me about all of this and I must admit it makes it feel a little more "real" when you start looking at the logistics of it all. We still have NO idea when we will get a referral. We're hoping it will be before Christmas.......we'd sure love to have our little bundle of joy to celebrate the holidays with this year! We're praying that all of that happens. I guess I also need to contact the pediatrician's office and sit down with the doctor for a preliminary visit. I want to make sure that when we are in China, he/she will be available should we need to call or email questions. I also want to make sure that he/she is familiar with the problems/concerns associated with internationally adopted children. We also need to buy those gifts that we have take to give all of the "officials" in China. We talked about looking for some of that stuff this weekend. Everyone keep praying and sending positive wishes our way! Thanks!

2 More Days Done

2009-08-23T18:49:00.000-07:00

Well, I guess the rumors were true. Looks like China only matched 2 more days of LID's this past month......geez! Oh well.....nothing I can do about it right? So we are two days closer......10 more days to get to ours. We visited with our friends, Tonja and Robby yesterday and got to see their baby Marissa. She is a cutie and it really helps us to stay positive about our adoption.....knowing that one day it will be our turn and we WILL hold our baby in our arms just like they are holding their sweet girl in theirs. So.......we continue.....

Two Days AGAIN???????? I hope it's more!

2009-08-16T18:43:00.000-07:00

Well yesterday the illustrious Rumor Queen posted on her website that rumors are milling around in the adoption world that China has done March 23rd and 24th....no rumors about any more days......so here we sit disappointed again but HOPING beyond hope that China did more than just another stupid 2 day batch of referrals! I had my big meltdown yesterday and cried my eyes out.........this is just our reality. What breaks my heart is the thought that we might have ANOTHER Christmas with no baby! I just can't take that again! Keep praying that more days are included this time and not just the measily two days that are rumored.

It's That Time Again.....the 5th of the month......

2009-08-05T18:59:00.000-07:00

Yep, another LID-iversary.......#40! Can you honestly believe that? Can you even BEGIN to understand how that feels to wait 40 WHOLE MONTHS for someone to help you realize your heart's desire????? Sometimes I sit here and think that we are NEVER going to get a referral. Yesterday I went to National Night Out and ran into a couple of students that I taught 4 years ago when we started this whole process and they could not believe that we still don't have our baby! One of them even teared up and gave me a hug and said, "Oh Mrs. Appleton, I want you to be a Mama so bad because you are like a mom to all of the kids that come in your classroom!" Talk about something really touching my heart! I couldn't hold the tears back in my own eyes!
Is this EVER going to happen for US????????? China only has to do 12 days (March 23-April 5) in order for us to finally be able to see our baby's face.......here's hoping they do some speeding up and get us that referral before Christmas! I can't wait until I can hold her referral picture in my hands and share it with all of our family and friends who constantly stand by our sides and encourage us month after month to hang in there! I can't help but think about a very special little girl who is probably alive this very minute somewhere in China.......the little girl who will become our pride and joy and the answer to so many years of prayers!

First Day of School TOMORROW!

2009-08-02T10:40:00.001-07:00

Well, the classroom is all decorated and organized and the Open House has occurred. Now, it's time to get rolling tomorrow on a new school year. WOW, what a short summer! Oh well.....I'd rather be working anyway because it keeps me busy and not focused on this continuing wait for the adoption to happen. I always get excited about a new year and meeting new students. I hope they all enjoy being a part of my class and that they learn a LOT because we certainly have a lot to teach them this year! So......let me get off the computer and enjoy my last day of relaxation....I'm sure it will be a crazy madhouse tomorrow like most first days are every year! hahaha I hope that THIS will be year that we get our referral (I've said that for the past 4 years, so maybe the 5th year of students will see it really happen!)

It's Back To School Time!

2009-07-22T19:40:00.000-07:00

Well, my summer break is officially over as of tonight. Tomorrow I start a new school year (the 5th school group that I've had since we started the China Adoption) and we have two workdays this week and a whole week next week. The students start the following Monday: August 3rd. As usual, I'm excited about starting a new year and meeting my new students. But, it is also kind of sad that our summer went by pretty quickly. Oh well, I got a lot done and had quite a few days of rest and relaxation. Too much sitting around gets on my nerves. I know I say this EVERY year, but hopefully THIS will be the year we go to China and become parents to our daughter. Dare I even say that AGAIN????? hahahahahahahaha

MEAN PEOPLE ARE ALIVE AND WELL!

2009-07-21T18:36:00.000-07:00

Well, I had a pretty nasty email today from someone on one of my adoption yahoo groups. Let me tell you the whole sordid story. Yesterday when I found out that the CCAA only matched two days (March 21st and 22nd) I posted a note on this particular group just venting my disappointment. I had really gotten excited lately since CCAA had matched 6 days one month and 6 days the next month, and I had let myself get a little excited that "maybe" that trend would continue and we'd get our referral in September. I made the comment that "China had kicked us in the teeth." Now, first of all let me say that I did NOT mean the Chinese people......I was referring to the China Adoptive Process....the agonizing process where one minute things look up and then they immediately look down again. I was not meaning that I was holding anything against CCAA or the Chinese people. WELL.........
This morning I wake up and am getting ready to go out to a doctors appointment and I quickly check my email. THIS PERSON has written me a nasty little email reprimanding me like you would a two-year-old child and professes that the Chinese owe me nothing and that I should be ashamed of the way I have talked about the birthplace of my future child. This is not the first time she has attacked me for my own personal opinions either. I was fed up with her and I told her so. I also proceeded to explain what I meant by my statement and that I didn't mean to offend anyone by saying it so that it sounded like I was holding something against the Chinese. Well, she got her butt in an uproar because I stood up to her and also told her that a lot of people quit posting on that group because of her and she sent me another email and said the meanest thing to me: "I feel so sorry for your daughter." What the heck??????? Here is this woman that has never met me, never had a conversation with me, and she is implying that I am not going to be a good mom to my own child just because I was frustrated with the news of a 2 day batch and was venting that frustration. She had NO right to say that to me at all! At first I was going to snap back at her with my southern temper and let her have it......then I stopped, said a quick prayer asking for patience and decided to take the higher road. I just replied that it was a mean to say. Of course she didn't reply. The sad thing is that this person has scriptures and everything all over her blog and portrays herself as this nice person.....but she thinks she can talk to someone like that.......I think they call that hypocritical. At least MY daughter will have a mom who will allow her to express herself openly and even if I don't always agree with her opinions, I will respect her enough not to come back with a cutting remark to hurt her feelings.

Just Call Me Charlie Brown! UGH!

2009-07-20T15:25:00.000-07:00

Well, it is confirmed that CCAA only matched TWO FREAKING DAYS this past month: March 21st and 22nd! I feel like that old gullible block-head, Charlie Brown.....Remember when Lucy used to tempt him every time to kick that football and he would at first refuse to believe that maybe she'd hold it still for him to kick it, but then she would convince him that this was the time....he was going to kick that football. And he would get so excited and run with all his might.....believing it was going to happen this time........and then she would be a big jerk and pull it away and he'd kick with all his might and just land on his back with a humiliating UGH! Well, that's me! Every stupid month, I let my hopes get up that we are soooooooooooooo close.......China is going to match 6 more days and then 6 more days and then US....oh boy I've been just letting my imagination run wild picturing us getting a referral, starting back to buying little things......oh boy going to "kick that football."
UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! And then China (just like mean ol' Lucy) pulls that football away and here I am laying on my back, with the wind knocked out of me just wondering why I do this to myself every time. You can't trust the rumors, or China, or your growing hopes........you're going to get the wind knocked out of you every time and be left just laying there like a big fool. UGH!

Kitty Helps Remove Wallpaper!

2009-07-17T12:26:00.000-07:00

One of my projects for the summer is to redecorate the bathroom. So, I removed the old wallpaper. Lo, and behold, my kitty cat, Chelsea (the mischievous one) decided to build a cave in the old wallpaper. I guess she thought she was helping Mommy in her own silly way. Gotta love those furrbabies!

Only Two Days???? Oh I Hope Not!

2009-07-17T09:26:00.000-07:00

The rumor mill is stirring and one source says that China matched March 21 and 22, 2006. Oh PLEASE tell me they did more than TWO DAYS! I know they are supposed to be days with large numbers of people logged in, BUT I was so hoping they would continue to do 6 day batches so they would get to us in September......geez....just when you think that things might be looking up, they knock you down to the ground and laugh in your face! ARGH! (Yea, the angry cat picture expresses how I feel right now...I hope I find out later that more days are included......)

Where Are The Referrals???

2009-07-14T10:40:00.000-07:00

Ok, this is driving me crazy wondering how many days worth of referrals CCAA is going to do this month. Last month referrals didn't come out until June 19th so we are getting close to referrals coming out again soon. Last month they did 6 days and 6 days the previous month, so I am hoping they will do another 6 days or more. Some people are saying there are some HUGE days and that CCAA might only do one or two days.....oh gosh I hope not! If they keep doing 6 days each month, then we will get a referral in September! Oh my gosh, wouldn't that be WONDERFUL!!!!????
I pulled out the paperwork to doublecheck expiration dates on paperwork after a lady posted a message that she had let her I171H expire by accident!
Our fingerprints expire in February 2010 and our I171H expires in October 2010 so hopefully we won't have to update any of that stuff. I hope we're good to go! Bring on the referrals!!!!!

Johnsons Diaper Creme

2009-07-07T17:17:00.001-07:00

Well, I was looking at "THE LIST" of things we have to pack for China and decided that every time I go over town, I am going to buy one more little thing to check off the list so when we get that referral, we won't have quite so many little things to get. I'm sure we'll be busy picking out CLOTHES at that point because we'll know the exact size of our baby. So, today's big purchase was diaper rash creme! hahahahahaha I also bought a little travel pack of Q-tips and a travel plastic container pouch of wipes that would fit in the diaper bag easily. Of course I know we'll have TONS of those things, but the skinny plastic container looked easy to refill and pop in my purse or diaper bag. It's pretty fun to start planning again and getting little things. I also put a couple more wishes in her Scrapbook where a couple of people sent me cloth and wishes for Rebekah's 100 Wishes Quilt. YAY! I think I have 100 now so I can take that next week to the place that is going to make the quilt for me. If anyone else is out there that would like to send one.....speak now or forever hold your peace. hahahahahahahaha I don't mind having over 100 but you need to let me know that another one is coming from you. It's only been almost 4 years that I've been collecting these things! hahahahahahahahahaha

LID-iversary #39 Today

2009-07-05T12:53:00.000-07:00

Normally, these milestones upset me but I truly feel like we don't have too many more to go before they match us with a baby. They are already up to March 20, 2006 dossiers and ours was logged in on April 5, 2006 so they are inching closer to us. I hope they get to us by about Sept. so we can travel before Christmas. Wouldn't it just be WONDERFUL to have a baby in our home to celebrate Christmas with???? Oh, I am praying that it really will happen for us this year!!!!!!!!!!

March 20th 2006: Getting Closer To Us!

2009-06-29T09:32:00.000-07:00

Well, I realized that I never posted how far CCAA got with the last batch of referrals. They went from March 14th to March 20th. YIPPEE!!!!!! We are so hoping that they continue to do big batches of 6 days or more! Keep "speeding" along CCAA!(Thus the picture of little Speedy Gonzales!) We are April 5, 2006 so we are anxiously waiting (and allowing ourselves to get excited a little!)

Putting Together Baby's Care Package

2009-06-28T18:31:00.000-07:00

Well, I was looking through some papers that I had filed away years ago when we first found out that this wait for our baby was going to drag on. We just couldn't bring ourselves to read that stuff when it was so far away from happening. One of the things I read was a note that our China coordinator in California had written about once we get our referral, we can send a care package to our baby through her. She would actually get some goodies from Mommy and Daddy before we travel to pick her up. Here are some things that we are thinking about putting in the care package (nothing is definite and I'm hoping to get some more ideas from veteran adoptive parents). These were some of the suggestions of things we could include:
1. A small blanket that we launder with our washing detergent or sleep with before sending (so the baby is familiar with our "scent". This may help her transition to us a little smoother.
2. A small photo album with pictures of us, our pets, our home, her bed, her room, etc. This may help her to know our faces when she sees us.
3. A small toy/doll
4. A disposable camera with a note asking the nannies to please take pictures of her at the orphanage (to be included in her Lifebook that explains her early years before she joined our family).
5. Soft pajamas for her to wear (also laundered in our detergent/fabric softener).
We thought that maybe we could start putting together this care package now, to give us something to focus on and to keep our spirits up as we continue to wait. Oh I hope we get her soon!!!!!!!!! (As I get more suggestions online, I will add them here even though we might not include them all in the actual care package).

Summer Break!!!!!

2009-06-24T06:35:00.000-07:00

Well, yesterday was my last day of school (I had two workdays Monday and yesterday) and now I am out on Summer Break. I have a few projects lined up in the baby's room and I want to get her 100 Wishes Quilt squares sent to the place that is going to make her quilt for me. They only charge $100 and it will be professionally done so it will last longer than something I might come up with (although I have made her a small baby quilt from other fabric squares so she will have one mommy made for her). Today my niece is coming to spend the night which is ALWAYS fun and she's going to pick out fabric and do a wish for Rebekah's wish book. YAY! I love my niece, Caitlin. It is hard to believe that she is going to be in the 6th grade at the middle school this year. I have a hard time seeing her as that old! I still see her as a little baby (sorry Caitlin...hahahahahahaha......Aunt Sue is TRYING to let you grow up but it is HARD!). Anyhow I am hoping we continue to hear about more and more referrals and that they really do get to us in September! I told my principal that would be great because my students start back on August 3rd and I would have time to get them settled and in a routine before going to China and then out on maternity leave. I am definitely going to be working my students HARD while I have them and HOPE that I get a long-term substitute who will be good with them and not just "play." When you teach an SOL grade, you really have to make sure you thoroughly cover the SOL content that is going to be on the state standardized tests in the Spring. Anyhow, I'm sure all will work out.......right now I just want that referral so I can go get our baby!!!!!! I've started "allowing" myself to get a little excited and to do a little planning now that they have gotten through March 20, 2006 people. They are only 16 days away from our log in date and that includes weekends! You can see the calendars of March and April 2006. We're getting closer!

Waiting To See How Far CCAA Made It This Time

2009-06-20T09:42:00.000-07:00

Well, we've heard rumors that CCAA made it either through March 20th or 21st. Some agencies are saying one day and some agencies are saying the other and of course OUR agency says nothing. hahahahahahahaha I'll be happy with either 6 or 7 days this time. Here's what the dates would look like if they stick to 6 day batches:
June.......March 20th
July.......March 26th
August....April 1st
Sept......April 7th (We are April 5th)
That would put us traveling in October???? BEFORE CHRISTMAS!

Of course this is all speculation and high hopes! But it's fun to look and hope and plan and feel like this may happen for us soon!
I personally don't feel like we'll hear anything until after the new year. I just don't think they will get to us til then. This week has been kind of hard for me to deal with for some reason. It's like I can really feel my baby pulling me to China! Is she even born yet??? I don't know...the other night (2 or 3 nights ago) I had this dream about a baby and she was so cute!!!! She had little chubby cheeks and the cutest little rosebud mouth. And she was saying, "Mama!" I woke up feeling really strange....not sad or anything....kind of excited and just with a happy feeling in my heart. Oh I hope wherever she is, she knows we love her and we're hanging in there waiting to see her and hold her and love her forever!!! Hang in there baby.....Mommy and Daddy love you!!!!!

Roanoke FCC Picnic Today!

2009-06-13T10:34:00.000-07:00

Today was such a beautiful for a picnic with our friends in the Roanoke, VA FCC group! We all brought food (a LOT of chicken) to the Garst Mill Park and had a ball sharing in food and fellowship! We were able to see all of the sweet children of our friends which always uplifts our spirits and gives us hope that we will one day have our own little sweet baby to share with them! It was nice to talk with Deb, Kim, and the others! It was a beautiful drive up there and back too!

LID-iversary # 38 and Counting

2009-06-05T18:42:00.000-07:00

Well, here we are again......another month.........not much to say about it. It is what it is, and there's not a darn thing I can do about it. I'm just not fretting about it anymore.

Visiting With The Shelton Family Today!

2009-05-30T19:08:00.000-07:00

Today we drove down to Burlington, NC and visited with our good friends, Tonja and Robby, who have been home a week with their sweet baby, Marissa! It was such a joy to walk in their home and see Tonja holding tiny little Marissa who was dressed in her P.J.s and looking plum adorable! She is just a beauty and we loved watching her play and eat and sleep and just be a cute little peanut! We love you guys so much!!!! (Next time we'll knock on the door instead of turning on your garage door opener!hahahahahahahaha)

Our First Trip To Babys-R-Us In AGES!!!!!!

2009-05-24T10:46:00.000-07:00

Yesterday Doug and I went down to Greensboro, NC to the Babys R Us for the first time in YEARS! It was so nice to go back in that store and to really feel like we will be parents SOON! We bought the car seat that we really wanted to get. It can be used from 5 to 100 pounds, has side impact protection, has PINK in it, looks really comfy for baby, and even has a CUP HOLDER! hahahahahahahahaha Oh my gosh it felt GREAT picking it out together and planning for our Rebekah! YIPPEE!!!!!! We haven't done that in quite a while! I also broke down and bought ANOTHER dress for Rebekah. It is pink with white smocking on the bodice and is just so precious! I couldn't resist! Gosh, I hope I have a prissy baby! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, she is going to be the daughter of Mama Fru Fru (as my friend Flissy calls me) so I will have her dressed in those prissy clothes as long as I can. My sister, Stacey, tells me that my baby is going to be the biggest tomboy just like her! hahahahahahaha I don't care though, as long as she is happy (and I can sneak a pink bow and some lace in there sometimes!)

The Storks Are Flying!

2009-05-22T18:47:00.001-07:00

Well, CCAA did NOT stop matching or doing referrals because yesterday my yahoo group was filled with excitement as people posted their referrals and news of their babies! Apparently CCAA matched March 9th through March 14th: A SIX DAY BATCH!!!!!!! I will definitely celebrate it because the last time, they only did two days.....Oh, I hope they keep doing batches this big or bigger. It is so nice to see people getting their referrals and knowing that this puts up 6 days closer to our date of April 5th! I just hope and pray that we have our baby before Christmas this year!!!! I don't want to spend another Christmas without our baby girl! I really don't.

We Are Hanging In There A Little Longer.......Oh, and Here's The Latest Rumors

2009-05-20T15:11:00.000-07:00

We've heard online that some agencies are receiving referrals with LID's from March 9 through March 14, 2006......so that would be a 6 day batch which is better than last month. Of course it looks like our agency was wrong again when they told us that the CCAA would not do referrals or matches until September......I'm biting my tongue and not saying what I "really want to say" about our agency.......trying to be little better about not blurting out my TRUE thoughts and feelings if I can at all refrain myself, but those who KNOW me, KNOW what I'm thinking.......
Anyhow, I'm choosing to "take the high road," and just be thankful for the good news. And yes, we are hanging in there........the last post was on a day when I was just so shocked by news from our agency (as inaccurate as usual) and reacting like a lady who KNOWS she is supposed to be a Mommy and WANTS her baby! Thank you to all my friends out there in "bloggy-land" who left me messages of encouragement. I needed those words to read over and over and to REALLY think about this whole situation......so we are still hanging in there.
As for the picture with this post........I just LOVE Fozzy and always have......I saw the picture the day when I was down and it just brought me a little happiness in the midst of my despair, so that's why Fozzy is on my blog now. ENJOY!

It Looks Like We Will Be Dropping Out of The Journey

2009-05-14T15:43:00.001-07:00

Got an email from our sorry agency today.......they never contact us for ANYTHING but seemed more than happy to share the news that CCAA will NOT be doing any matching, referrals, travel approvals, NOTHING until probably September 2009. So......we have had enough. There will be no Rebekah for us I guess. NO BABIES at all for us.

Introducing: Marissa (Rebekah's future play-date buddy)

2009-05-11T03:50:00.000-07:00

Well, my friend Tonja said that it was ok for me to post a picture of her and her sweet baby, Marissa, so here she is! What a cutie-pie! When we get Rebekah, I am looking forward to seeing the two girls playing together when Doug and I visit Tonja and Robby (and Caitlin). Can you tell that Tonja is happy? Look at that beautiful smile and the joy in her eyes!!!! Love you guys!!!!!

Happy Mothers Day (And Mothers-To-Be Day)!

2009-05-10T16:10:00.000-07:00

Well today hasn't been too bad of a Mothers Day. Usually I'm all upset and cranky because I'm not a mom yet, but this year it feels like we are really really close and I was also able to celebrate in my friend Tonja's joy as she became a Mommy today! She got her little baby, Marissa, and I was able to wake up this morning and see her sweet baby's face and the joy in my friend's eyes! I just KNOW in the very deepest crevices of my heart that I'm going to be a mommy soon. My day is coming!!!!!! Plus my sweet hubby came up with the suggestion that we ride down to Burlington, NC for a late lunch/early dinner at Olive Garden. We did a little shopping too beforehand and I got a really pretty top at Dress Barn, so overall it has been a fun day. One of my friends on Facebook had sent me a message talking about how she admires my whole "PATIENCE" in this whole adoption journey. Oh I had to laugh out loud! See, I have NO patience in ANY situation and I can recall MANY MANY MANY days and nights of tears, screaming, fussing, cussing (yes mom, cussing.....sorry about that), hating China, hating my life, hating having had a hysterectomy for cancer, hating everyone else that could pop out kids, just being a total MONSTER about this whole waiting......so for someone to try to paint me as this angelic, patient, saint, is just so darn funny! hahahahahahahahaha I wrote her back and said that basically my patience is not real......it is a FORCED PATIENCE that I FORCED AGAINST MY WILL TO ENDURE and that I totally and absolutely 100% hate not having ANY CONTROL over this whole journey...............not one single thing do I have control over and for someone who is a type A, control freak, that is NOT GOOD! hahahahahahahahahahahahaha So, don't put a halo over my head and think that I am enduring this wait in any way that would nominate me for sainthood..........it's just a necessary evil that I must endure to get to the end result that my heart and soul desires so much..........MOMMYHOOD!!!!!!!!!!! Love to you all on this Mothers Day and to my own mother, I just want to say, "Thank you for being my Mama and for enduring all of the drama that I have put you through all these years.......my mother truly knows what it is like to parent a "drama-queen!" Bless her wonderful and loving heart!!!!!! hahahahahahahahahaha

I love my hubby!

2009-05-09T18:19:00.000-07:00

Today is the day before Mothers Day and usually it's not a very festive day for me. This year I am trying to be more positive and think that it will be my last without our baby. Doug surprised me today......while he was out, he picked up something for the baby....a cute little sundress! It is the FIRST piece of clothing that he has picked out for her, and I just was stunned! Anyhow, it gave me those little "maybe-I-Am-Going-to-Be-A-Mommy-soon" feelings and I was so touched by this Daddy thing that he did!
Anyhow, later we went to a cookout at my brother, Tony's house in honor of all of the mothers present. It was fun and this is a shot that my niece Caitlin took of Doug and I. I love this man that I married and I can't wait til' I have our baby with us! Oh, and here's the link for another blog that I have some pictures posted of my family including my little 14-month old niece trying to "kiss" her kitten! She is soooooooooooooooo cute! http://susanssharedpictures.blogspot.com/

LID-iversary #37

2009-05-05T20:00:00.001-07:00

Enough said.

Bookshelf In The Nursery

2009-04-30T18:10:00.000-07:00

Here's the bookshelf I put together the week of Spring Break! I had books for baby all over the place so it was nice to get them all organized in ONE SPOT! I don't think baby Rebekah will be needing any books anytime soon.....she has almost 200 now! hahahahahahaha.......oh the joys of being a baby of a teacher mom!

Fru Fru's Girl Will Have A Pair of Jeans!

2009-04-30T17:10:00.000-07:00

I meant to post this the other day when I first got the package from Felicity (my LID "sister") but I didn't have my camera to take a photo. Here's the story:
The other week I was talking with my friend, Felicity about the whole adoption stuff and what we have for our babies and trying to organize nurseries etc. and I made the comment that my baby Rebekah has mostly pink, frilly, dressy, "FRU FRU" outfits in her closet! Oh yes, I am going to dress that little angel in as much lace and pink and fru fru frills as I can get my hands on. Even Doug has said, "Is our daughter ever going to wear just a pair of jeans?" ahahahahahahahaha Well, after telling Fliss about this, she surprised me with the cutest little pair of flare leg jeans and blue top! hahahahaha Yep, BLUE......not pink! So now our baby girl has some hip looking blue jeans and blue top when all that pink makes her sick and she needs a change! What would I do without friends like Flissy??????? And now her name for me is "FRU FRU." Love ya' girl!

PLEASE GOD, don't let them stop doing referrals because of this swine flu crap!

2009-04-29T21:07:00.000-07:00

with rumors of the blasted swine flu going around, there are rumors that China will stop making referrals until it clears up.....that could delay us even more......i just can't take this anymore......is there some "cosmic" force of nature out there that is bound and determined that Susan Appleton will never ever become a mother???????? I had better just stop right now before I say something really ugly about this whole situation.....something that I wouldn't want people to read.........use your imagination.....

Our Niece, Caitlin, Spends The Night!

2009-04-18T12:49:00.000-07:00

Well Thursday night was fun because our niece, Caitlin, was able to spend the night. We had fun hanging out with her and Friday while Doug went to work, I took her out to eat and then to the Science Museum here in Danville. She loved it! She also wanted to go visit my classroom so I took here there and she played school for a bit. She loved our cats (especially Chelsea, who was fascinated with her) and she loved being spoiled rotten. We let her pick out a new outfit and shoes and allowed her to choose where she wanted to eat dinner. We love you Caity-bug and you're welcome to visit anytime!!!!

Our Friends, Jamie and Matt, Have Their Baby Ella!

2009-04-13T15:30:00.000-07:00

I went to our friends' website today and saw the pictures of Matt and Jamie's new little girl, Ella! What a sweetie! They got her today and she just looks perfect in their family! I sat here and cried tears of joy for this family who has waited along with us and now they are all together in China! One day it will be our turn too! Congrats Jamie and Matt AND little Ella! May the rest of your journey be a happy time for all of you to bond to one another and may you be blessed with good health, strength, rest, and a joyful experience! Praying for you daily and for your safe return to the good ol' USA! Love you guys!

Introducing: Bekah Bear!

2009-04-13T15:24:00.000-07:00

Last week when we went to Roanoke, VA for Doug's citizenship ceremony, we decided to look around the mall afterwards and Doug suggested that we go to Build-A-Bear and make a bear for Rebekah. Of course you don't have to twist my arm to make me go there! I love it! So we went in, looked at the many choices of animals, and of course decided to go with the panda bear! I decided to name her Bekah since it will be Rebekah's bear. I dressed it in a pink baby onesie and diaper with "Hello Kitty" slippers (in honor of her cat sisters) and then put a pacifier around it's neck. I also found an American flag since both she and Daddy will be new citizens and Doug got her a Pawport (passport) that you can have stamped when you go to different Build-A-Bear stores. Apparently they even have some in China! It was a lot of fun and the guy who waited on us let both Doug and I put in hearts as her parents so Bekah Bear has 2 hearts! (Twice as much love for our Rebekah!). It was fun and I hope one day she will love her little bear as much as we loved making it for her while we are waiting to hold her in our arms!

PROUD TO BE AN AMERICAN!!!!!!!

2009-04-09T17:23:00.000-07:00

Well my husband was sworn in at 11:13 as a citizen of the United STates of America! Of course I cried all the way through the oath and then again when we ALL stood to say the Pledge of Allegiance! What a moving moment! It really makes you appreciate the rights and privileges of being a citizen of this great nation. The judge made the comment that yes, we have our problems right now in this country, but that the strength of our nation is in the hearts of the people and the way we stick together in tough times!
Doug just makes me so proud to be his wife! I love this man who is a wonderful husband to me, and will be the best Daddy to our baby, Rebekah one day! He is so talented, smart, hard-working, humorous, outgoing, and loving! It was a wonderful moment that he will never forget and neither will I. We were so blessed to have a beautiful sunny day for the drive up to Roanoke and then to have family and friends join us (thanks Stacey (my sister), my aunt Micky, my Mom, our friends: Cheryl, Doug, and Jack) made it all the more special. There were LOTS of friends, family and co-workers who sent me emails yesterday to put in a scrapbook for Doug and I just wanted to thank them for that. We got there EARLY and as we sat in the parking lot, I pulled it out and gave it to Doug and said, "These are all the people who think a lot of you honey and wanted to wish you well on this special day!" He was truly touched and read the comments over and over! It will be something that he can keep forever and remember this momentous event in his life (our life!). I have truly been touched by everything today that happened. As we were driving home, I thought about all the heartache we went through after we first got married and he had to stay in Canada for over a year before Immigration would allow him to move down here to live and work. It was HARD.....so terribly hard and not a night went by that I didn't cry because I missed him so much! We had HUGE phone bills and MANY MANY nights chatting online. We contacted our Congressman (Virgil Goode) who tried to move the process along and then once he was down here, we had the mounds of paperwork and forms and fees, and visits to Immigration for interviews and green card renewals and fingerprints...........and all of that was HARD......but without the difficulty of those many trials, we would have NEVER experienced the moments we had today of absolute joy! And that made me think of the adoption......if THIS was such a joyous occasion, how much greater will be the joy of having that baby placed in our arms??????? Oh my gosh, I cannot fathom it! And I think about all of the people who have (bless their hearts) tried to tell us that "the wait will be worth it," and we have HATED hearing them say those words! But they truly KNOW that joy, they have experienced it first hand, and they KNOW! So, with that said, I am ALLOWING myself to get excited again about the adoption. I allowing my heart to open and be vunerable and I just pray that Heavenly Father will bless me and Doug that we WILL experience this joyful event in our life SOON!!!!!!!!! WHEW.....what an emotional day! And to my sweet, wonderful hubby: I love you darling and am so proud of you and the man that you are! Congratulations babe!

Daddy Will Be A U.S. Citizen Before Baby!!!!!

2009-04-06T15:50:00.000-07:00

Well, today Doug got his appointment to go and be sworn in as a U.S. Citizen.....it is THIS WEEK! April 9, 2009!!!!! THIS THURSDAY!!!!!!!! Talk about working quick...he just took the test and interview a couple of weeks ago! WOW! We've always had this ongoing joke that our baby would be a citizen before her Daddy, but thanks to this wait, that is no longer true......looks like Daddy will be a flag-waving U.S. Citizenship, tried, true and red-white-and-blue before we even go to China to get baby girl! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

3 Year LID-iversary TODAY (36 months!)

2009-04-05T13:18:00.000-07:00

Well, I was sitting here today and all of a sudden realized that it is our LID-iversary! Our paperwork (the dossier) has been in China for THREE YEARS! I guess it's still there and I hope it isn't moth-ridden or so piled up with dust that they can't read it when they get to us. We still don't know WHEN they will get around to matching us with our baby. Right now the rumors are saying that they have given referrals to people with an LID of March 7th and 8th and we've seen people posting online about their referrals so I guess they only did those two days worth for this month. I have heard that the 7th was a huge batch though, so maybe the next batch will include more days! I was so hoping they would get to us by now, but alas, they have not...........oh well, there's nothing to do but continue to hang in there. So......happy LID-iversary to us AGAIN!

Doug and I went out to dinner at Outback to celebrate our LID-iversary. We talked about our baby girl and the projected time that we might be getting our referral. There is a referral calculator online that you can type your LID in and it tells you when it is projected that you will receive your referral. When I typed in April 5, 2006 it said Sept. 7, 2009. So............for all of you who ask me WHEN it is going to happen, we have that GUESSTIMATE and that's about it. Of course we hope it will be sooner, but we hope it won't be later. Of course this means we will have to update our homestudy AGAIN for the 4th time because it expires in August......oh well.......
Anyhow, afterwards we went to Target for a few things and while there, I made myself go to the baby aisle and look around. I did end up buying a cute little white summer-time shirt (18 months) since I've promised Doug not to buy anymore dresses! hahahahahahahahaha I do want to try to find some baby bib-overalls and "frill them up" with some lace and ribbons! hahahahahahahaha Every little southern belle needs some cute little bib-overalls! Anyhow, that's it for our LID-iversary!

Why Am I Not Excited??????

2009-04-02T18:55:00.000-07:00

It seems like everyone with March and April 2006 LIDs are getting excited, so why am I still feeling NOTHING?????? So many of my online friends are getting nurseries ready, buying stuff, practicing packing, gathering packing lists, etc. etc. and feeling giddy with excitement, but I am feeling NOTHING. I WANT to feel those old feelings that I used to have when I used to think about our baby girl and everything associated with the adoption, but there's nothing in my heart that flutters when I think about it at all. Maybe I need to buy something or redo things in the nursery or sew another blanket/quilt/taggy blanket or SOMETHING.....maybe I need to go look at baby supplies/clothes or do the baby registries......I just can't seem to summon up the desire to do any of it. What is wrong with me????????

The Shack by Wm. Paul Young

2009-03-29T18:27:00.001-07:00

Well, tonight I finished reading a book that a teacher-friend loaned me. It is called The Shack and I must admit that it was VERY moving. I don't want to give away the plot or anything in case others want to read it, but basically it is a story about a man who meets God. It is very thought-provoking and touching. I cried through a lot of it and some of it was "over my head," but then again a lot of it really spoke to my heart. I would definitely recommend it to others. I found it very interesting that one of the key things stressed in the book is the spiritual nature of relationships that we build with others. This really made me think about the friendships we have formed since starting the adoption process! There are lots of time when I really mourn the loss of being able to have biological children due to the cancer/hysterectomy that I had to have back in 2000. I wonder why this adoption journey has to be so difficult and long for us???? After reading this book, I think of the friends that I would not have made if it had all happened so quickly. I treasure the friendships I have made with Tonja, Jamie, Felicity, and my friends in the Roanoke FCC (Kim, Deb, Trina, Jennifer......) This book just really made me think about all of this.....Anyhow, I just wanted to share this with all of you and if you choose to read the book, I hope it will mean a lot to you too.

Doug Passed The Citizenship Test!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-03-28T08:16:00.000-07:00

Well this week has certainly been a busy one. On Tuesday we left after work and drove to Washington D.C. where we stayed the night so that Doug could get up early to take the U.S. Citizenship Test/Interview. He passed with NO PROBLEMS! He was in and out of there soooooooooooo quick! Now we just have to wait for a letter from Roanoke about the day and time of his swearing-in ceremony! How exciting! I am so proud of my Canadian husband. He decided to get his citizenship for two reasons:
1. He really does love this country.
2. He wants to be a citizen to provide stability for our little girl in case something should happen to me. Of course we don't foresee anything happening to me, but you just never know what the future holds so he wanted to make sure that he has the rights of a U.S. citizen in order to take care of our child. What a wonderful Daddy!
Anyhow, we'll let you know when he officially is to be sworn in. This is so exciting!!!!!

Friday Night's Dream

2009-03-22T14:26:00.000-07:00

Ok, I have debated over and over whether I wanted to share this dream online, but after keeping it to myself for two days and treasuring the emotions that the dream gave me, I am going to share with everyone a very special dream I had Friday night. Basically it wasn't like any dream I've ever had. It was about our baby in China....our little Rebekah. I've seen person after person online talk about dreaming about their baby but I never have had that experience and was a little envious that others had had these touching experiences. All day yesterday and this morning I thought about the very vivid pictures and the emotions of the dream, and I honestly think that it was a gift from Heavenly Father to keep me focused on my dream of being a mother to this little baby. The dream involved Doug and I being in China and getting our baby. I remember she was all bundled up in this yellow outfit and her cheeks were really red and she looked scared. She was whimpering a little when they handed her to me, but I remember that once I took her in my arms, I didn't hear anything around me, or notice anything around me but her. She was looking into my eyes and I was touching her little face reassuring her that she was ok and I loved her so much! I remember that I was kissing her little chubby cheeks over and over and she just kept staring at me. Even now, typing this, I have tears rolling down my cheeks! I remember at one point in the dream she sighed and just laid her head against my chest and it felt so wonderful!!!! I remember just sitting her against me and all these people were around with their babies and talking and I didn't hear anything. I just rocked her and sang to her and it was a beautiful moment. I know some people will say this is just "wishful thinking" but I am curious to see how it all plays out in China. I have been so guarded about all the hoopla surrounding rumors of a "speed-up" in referrals and just working so hard to NOT get excited about being a mom soon. Maybe this is Heavenly Father's way of telling me that's it ok to let my guard down a little and get a little excited and feel those nurturing feelings that only a mommy can feel towards her child. Oh, I hope so. I was pretty quiet a lot yesterday as we went to Burlington to meet our friends and then afterwards as I was thinking about this dream and wondering where it came from and if it has any significant meaning in my life. My friend Tonja gave me a copy of their referral picture and I couldn't help but wonder, "how long will it be before I'm giving her one of Rebekah's pictures and how long will it be before I'm looking into the eyes of MY sweet girl????" Anyhow, I'm sharing this dream because I feel a renewed sense of hope and a connection to my child half way across the world. Who knows....maybe she's dreaming of me and the same moment that I dreamed of meeting her. I'd like to think so.

Great Visit With Fellow-Adoptive Parents

2009-03-21T17:49:00.001-07:00

We rode down to Burlington, NC to meet with our friends Tonja and Robby who are adopting from China too. We got to see their referral that they just got and Tonja even gave me a copy of her beautiful baby's picture and a very encouraging card! THanks Tonja! After lunch at Olive Garden (yum yum), we went back to their house and had wonderful conversation with them. It was so nice to just sit and talk and be with friends who "get us" as far as how hard this waiting is. They shared memories of their first adoption from China and we just had a great time! We honestly didn't want to leave! hahahahahahahahaha We even got to play with their cute doggy (McGregor!). YAY! Of course now I want a dog! hahahahahahahahaha Thanks Tonja and Robby for being such sweet friends.....can't wait to do it again and SOON!

Geez, here we go again........

2009-03-14T15:41:00.001-07:00

I wish people with rumors of a speed-up in the adoption world would just shut-up! There are more rumors out there that several agencies are spreading saying that the next two months are going to see some miraculous speed-up...........WHATEVER!!!!!! I don't even let myself get excited about these rumors anymore.....they are FALSE....they are always FALSE.......and then the RUMOR ROYALTY comes back on and posts that she knew it would be false. When will people stop believing that these things are really going happen? THEY HAVE NOT EVER BEEN RIGHT ABOUT THIS.....WHY WOULD IT HAPPEN NOW????? Geez.........

35th LID-iversary........Will It End?????

2009-03-05T14:49:00.000-08:00

Today is our 35th LID-iversary...........I have nothing else to say except......DITTO.........
The picture has nothing to do with anything......I just needed a cute little picture to help me get through the day and not get depressed......"It's not easy being green........"

HAPPY and SAD at the same time!!!!!!!

2009-03-04T14:28:00.000-08:00

Ok, I am a blubbering mess right now! My two friends, Tonja and Jamie got the pictures of their babies and I looked at Jamie's this morning and cried and then looked at Tonja's just now and cried more. What BEAUTIFUL baby girls they have! I am so very very very very very very happy for them! I feel like an AUNT! hahahahahahaha What a beautiful time it is to share in their joy and the thrill of their adoption journey, but now it is so emotional to look at their babies' and wonder what our Rebekah looks like and wonder WHERE IS SHE??????? Is she ok? Is there someone holding her when she cries or keeping her little feet covered up in the cold? Is she getting enough to eat? Is there someone to play with her or soothe her when she's scared???????? Oh my gosh, all these emotions are just bubbling up inside of me and I want our baby NOW!!!!! RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I don't want her alone a minute longer!!!!! Whew, what a mess I am right now..........I think I need to go get myself together and just say a prayer that she is ok. I love you Tonja and Jamie and I'm so happy for you.....really I am! Thank you for taking me along on your journey and please understand that even though I am an emotional trainwreck wanting my baby, I am THRILLED TO DEATH for you guys!!!!!

Congrats To Tonja and Robby!

2009-03-02T20:28:00.000-08:00

My dear friend, Tonja called me tonight after 8pm with the news that she got her referral call and has a baby girl from China! She is 8 months old and comes from the same province as her big sister, Caitlin! Oh I am so happy for them.....Tonja sounded like a proud mommy and it brought tears to my eyes when she said, "I have my baby, Susan!" I held it in as best I could until we said goodbye and then I just lost it! How wonderful to know that my friend has finally been given her baby's referral and to know that one day it will happen for us too! I am so happy for Tonja, Robby, and Caitlin! It's about time!

Congrats To Jamie and Matt!

2009-03-02T14:27:00.000-08:00

Our friend from Chesapeake, VA: Jamie called me this afternoon and as soon as I answered, she said, "IT'S A GIRL!" Oh my gosh we both cried! I have never met Jamie face-to-face but we have talked online for months and we both have the same agency so we've just bonded! Her LID is 03/03/06 and now she knows that her baby, Ella Ray, is an 18-month girl from Hunan Province! I was surprised how choked up and emotional I got talking to Jamie and I think all I could say was, "Oh my gosh and Wow." I am so happy for her and then there's a little part of my heart that is so envious too. I would be lying if I said it doesn't hurt to also see the joy that others are experiencing as they get their referrals, but I'm taking the high road and thoroughly trying to share in their joy and looking forward to the day when it will be OUR TURN!!! So...........congrats Jamie!!!!! Now, I'm waiting for my other friend in Burlington,NC: Tonja and Robby to get their referral. They are also LID 03/03/06! Two little girls from China are so blessed to have loving mommies.....two very special friends of mine!!!!

Do They Think We Are Stupid????

2009-02-25T19:26:00.000-08:00

Ok, I just had to come on MY blog and vent for a moment.....since it's my blog, I can write honestly and openly how I feel and if others don't agree with it....well, they can voice their own opinions and thoughts on THEIR blog....so here goes......there are "some sources" online which I will not even dignify by naming them, but they share "rumors" with all of us desperate people who are STILL waiting to adopt and every single month they share some far-fetched rumor that China is going to speed up! OH MY GOSH! I have been disappointed month after month, year after year........because I have been gullible enough and desperate enough to believe these untruths.....like this past month when the rumor was, "oh China is going to get well into the month of March, maybe even through to the 27th," and then the referral cutoff dates are announced and they only got through March 2nd (TWO PATHETIC DAYS!) and we were heartbroken and discouraged once again! Well guess what? The perpetual false-hope rumors are going again.......geez, do they think we are stupid????????? There is NO WAY on God's green Earth I am going to fall for this EVER again! So.........the rumor mill is stupid! It's NEVER going to speed up and I am so glad that I have wised up and don't let my hopes get up anymore. The nursery door is SHUT, no preparations are being made, and when the cutoffs for this month are posted and they only do 1 or 2 days, I will be glad that for once, I didn't let anyone get to my heart this time. It's sad for those who will be heartbroken and I hope the rumor-mungers (who by the way already HAVE their children home from China) will be proud of themselves for causing unnecessary hurt to others, but I won't be one of them so THERE!

How Do You Take Care Of A Child When YOU'RE Sick????

2009-02-21T16:32:00.000-08:00

I have been wondering about this today and I have laid in bed ALL day long suffering with bronchitis, coughing spells that feel like I'm going to cough up a lung, sore throat, fluid behind my ears, and just feeling FUNKY! How am I going to take care of a baby if I get sick like this???? Right now I just feel HORRIBLE! I can't hardly walk from one room to the other without feeling like I'm going to hit the floor. How do people do it?????? Right now I can be stingy and selfish and just take care of myself, but I'm not going to be able to do that once I'm a mom........hubby just came in and said, "I guess this would be one of those days when Daddy takes care of baby." OH THANK GOD, I will be able to be selfish!!! hahahahahahahahahaha

Please Say The Rumors Aren't True!

2009-02-18T16:15:00.000-08:00

Well, there is a small rumor milling around in "adoption-land" that China only matched ONE day (March 3rd). Oh gosh, please say this isn't true! They only did two days last time and I thought that was bad! I have a couple of friends online who have LID's of March 3rd and of course I will be thrilled for THEM, but come on CCAA.....you just have to do more than 1 day!

I-171H Renewed

2009-02-06T15:48:00.000-08:00

Well, we're good for a few more months......we got our renewed I171H today and so we are good until July 27, 2010! Gosh, do you think we'll have our baby by THEN?????? This is the THIRD one we've gotten!

Oh and our LID-iversary was yesterday.....we didn't even celebrate. 34 Months and still waiting.

I Pulled Out Rebekah's Adoption Journal

2009-02-02T20:14:00.000-08:00

I have a little journal that I've been writing in since we started the adoption process towards getting our baby, Rebekah. I have letters in there that I've written her and many other little trinkets and tidbits. It's been quite a while since I pulled it out to write in it. In fact, tonight I opened it and discovered that the last time I wrote in it was back in August! I just couldn't bear to write in it over the Fall holidays......it was just unbearably sad to think about holidays AGAIN without her, so I tucked it on the shelf in the nursery until tonight. It felt good to take it out and write something for her again tonight. That little journal is almost FULL! I'll be starting a second one for her soon! hahahahahaha Maybe one day this journal will help her to understand how much she was loved and wanted for sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo long and how she was truly meant to be a part of our family! That's one thing that I worry about with adoption. I don't ever want my child to feel unwanted and to think that just because of the circumstances that led to her being united to us in our family, she was not wanted.....oh my gosh, if she could just feel the love in my heart and know the tears that I have cried over all these years just wanting to hold her in my arms....she would know that without a doubt that she is loved beyond measure! The conditions in China that cause her to be abandoned are just a step that will bring her into our family where she will experience more love than she will ever be able to comprehend. I pray that she understand all of this one day and that the love we give her will be enough to sustain her in life and guide her footsteps into becoming a happy, fulfilled young woman! I truly want her to be happy with the life we are going to provide for her and to never feel like she is missing anything as a result of being adopted. I hope we are enough to make her feel loved and wanted and cherished!

Disappointed Again By CCAA

2009-01-21T05:10:00.000-08:00

Well, the news online this morning in the adoption community is that the CCAA only did TWO days of referrals.....just two.......TWO FREAKING LITTLE DAYS! So much for a speed up, right? All those people who go to Rumor Queen and rave about how reliable she is must be out of their minds! For two weeks I have listened to people go on and on about the "rumors" that CCAA was doing this gigantic batch of referrals....throwing dates like March 5, March 14, March 23..........and like a fool, I let my guard down and started to believe that maybe this time, there really would be a speed up.....ARGH! When am I going to learn that there NEVER is going to be a speed up??? The CCAA is going to drag the month of March out as much as they can. We'll be lucky to get a referral before 2010! I really feel bad for a friend of mine who was expecting a referral in this batch and now it's not going to happen. Oh, she is being super about it all and so happy for those who will see their baby's face and I really admire her graciousness and poise. I hurt for her! This is just so unfair to all of us who continue to wait this ridiculous amount of time just to love our babies! I'm just.........................just..................oh what's the use.......

SNOWDAY...............FINALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2009-01-20T05:24:00.000-08:00

Oh what a beautiful morning!!!!!!!!! I woke up this morning to a light blanket of beautiful snow!!!!! Oh it is just gorgeous! Of course, this means we also have no school today which is even better! I just love when it snows and everything looks so serene and lovely! I get those same old feelings I did when I was a little girl and heard the report of no school on t.v.! I'm serious.....the exact seem feelings! hahaha
Anyhow, today is all mine to have fun! Yesterday we had a day off for Martin Luther King Day and I cleaned my entire house so today I am free to sit back and do whatever I want to do. I think I am going to read a bit, work on a taggy blanket for Rebekah (I bought some new cotton flannel cloth that has I Am A Child of God on it and these little international children), and I might make a cake and some soup.....oh and watch a little bit of t.v. Right now, I'm just sitting here staring out the patio doors in amazement! Once we get Rebekah, I want to make sure that snowdays are fun for her too! That way, she can always have these feelings when it snows and can feel like a child again! Woo Hoo!